Funny points are 3. Balls mean golf balls at same time testicles moreover Tees
mean Golf Tee device which rests golf ball but at same time Tea resting device for car.
Finally driving used at golf when golf driver is used but car also requires driving.
In this sense, 3 funny points are mixed in this American joke.
Please appreciate above points then read joke as under-mentioned.
On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz into a gas station in a remote part of the island. The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner, completely unaware of who the golf pro is. "Mornin' bye" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are dey den, son?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger. "Well, what on de good earth are dey for?" inquires the Newfie. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger. "Freeckin Jaysus" says the Newfie, "Dem boys at Mercedes tink of everything".
2009年4月30日木曜日
2009年4月28日火曜日
Terrible situation
This happened about ten years ago. At the time I was dating a model, and she had just come from an all day photo shoot, and she was hungry, so went went to Taco Bell to get something to eat.
She was still in her outfit, and she was wearing those “dolphin” shorts that don’t leave much to the imagination. So while she was busy looking at the menu, I was standing behind her checking out what I had that everybody else wanted… and I noticed a white string hanging from her black shorts.
So me being the good guy that I am, I reached down and yanked on the string, and all of a sudden she screamed out loud anddoubled over in pain. Everybody in the place turned around and looked at me like I had hit her. It turned out that it was that time of the month, and the string was from her tampon! Talk about making an ass out of yourself in public!
She was still in her outfit, and she was wearing those “dolphin” shorts that don’t leave much to the imagination. So while she was busy looking at the menu, I was standing behind her checking out what I had that everybody else wanted… and I noticed a white string hanging from her black shorts.
So me being the good guy that I am, I reached down and yanked on the string, and all of a sudden she screamed out loud anddoubled over in pain. Everybody in the place turned around and looked at me like I had hit her. It turned out that it was that time of the month, and the string was from her tampon! Talk about making an ass out of yourself in public!
2009年4月26日日曜日
Be careful when you fly by plane.
The plane I was flying in was very old propellar driven thing, I think it was a C47 Goonie Bird.
The toilet was certainly not designed for a guy my size because the bowl was against the far wall, but the ceiling curved backwards. I found myself leaning way back like I was doing the limbo and trying to urinate at the same time.
Being a propellar driven plane, we hit a bit of turbulance. Because I was leaning backwards so much, put my left hand behind me to brace myself against the door and continued to urinate.
My left hand accidentally hit the door latch and I fell backwards into the aisle and every passenger turned around to see me laying in the aisle with my penis in my hand and I could not stop urinating for the life of me.
I got back into the toilet and composed myself. After another 10 minutes, i returned to my seat and everyone started to applaud.
One old man thanked me for the funiest sight he had seen in all of his life.
I have never returned to New Zealand since
The toilet was certainly not designed for a guy my size because the bowl was against the far wall, but the ceiling curved backwards. I found myself leaning way back like I was doing the limbo and trying to urinate at the same time.
Being a propellar driven plane, we hit a bit of turbulance. Because I was leaning backwards so much, put my left hand behind me to brace myself against the door and continued to urinate.
My left hand accidentally hit the door latch and I fell backwards into the aisle and every passenger turned around to see me laying in the aisle with my penis in my hand and I could not stop urinating for the life of me.
I got back into the toilet and composed myself. After another 10 minutes, i returned to my seat and everyone started to applaud.
One old man thanked me for the funiest sight he had seen in all of his life.
I have never returned to New Zealand since
misunderstanding
Alright, today at my job, I was sitting at my stool talking to a coworked and There was no buisness so we were just chatting the whole time. well, I had to get up and bend over to pick up a bin off the floor, and my pants slipped down on my ass (they are those tight black jazz dance pants we have to wear for work) and he was staring straght at my polka-dotted panties and started rubbing himself. and when I got up, my panties bunched up, and he kept rubbing himself.How do I know?? The manager called us into the back and showed us what the security camera had just recorded. All on tape. I was so mortified its not even funny. And it sucks, because I thought he liked me for my person, and All week, he had just been staring at my ass or tits (my manager told me about this, but couldnt prove it to me through videobecause they are sent to the man security office at closing) all the time. He got fired for sexual…something not harrassment, but something else, and for stealing stuff. I dont knw if hes getting sued, but he did get fired, and now i have more hours.
2009年4月24日金曜日
Roman Toga don't have zipper.
My embarrassing moment happened when I was a junior in high school. I had to act out a skit during a schoolwide rally. I was a Roman person, wearing a very realistic toga, and I had to go out there with the student body president and vice president, when I noticed my black panty line was showing through my white sheet.
So I took them and my bra off and walked out into the gym. The noise in the gym immediatley stopped, and everyone was staring at me. Then I felt a breeze around my stomach and legs, so I looked down. I was standing there completely nude! I had forgotten to properly tie my toga in the back, so it fell off.
So I took them and my bra off and walked out into the gym. The noise in the gym immediatley stopped, and everyone was staring at me. Then I felt a breeze around my stomach and legs, so I looked down. I was standing there completely nude! I had forgotten to properly tie my toga in the back, so it fell off.
2009年4月21日火曜日
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